Romance Scam
Someone you met online develops a relationship then asks for money for an emergency.
How This Scam Works
Scammer creates a fake profile on dating sites, Facebook, or Instagram. They build a relationship over weeks or months, always avoiding video calls. Then a 'crisis' hits — medical emergency, business deal falling through, need money for a plane ticket to visit — and they ask for money. Losses average $12,000 per victim among people over 60.
Who's Most at Risk
Widowed, divorced, or single adults 50-75 who spend significant time on dating apps or Facebook. Women slightly more targeted than men, but men have larger average losses.
Red Flags to Watch For
- •Falls in love quickly
- •Always has an excuse to avoid video calls
- •Story doesn't quite add up
- •Asks for money for an emergency
- •Claims to work overseas (military, oil rig, doctor)
How to Protect Yourself
- ✓Insist on a video call early
- ✓Reverse image search their profile photos
- ✓Never send money to someone you haven't met in person
- ✓Talk to family before sending any funds
If You've Already Been Targeted
The most important thing after being targeted is speed — the first 24-48 hours give the best chance of stopping further loss. Take these actions in order:
- 1.Save all messages, photos, and payment records before blocking the scammer
- 2.Report to the dating platform so the scammer's account is disabled
- 3.If the scammer sent packages or asked you to receive money, you may have unknowingly been recruited as a money mule — consult an attorney before doing anything with any funds still in your account
- 4.Stop all contact with the scammer immediately. Block phone, email, social media.
- 5.Contact your bank and credit card issuers to freeze accounts or reverse recent transactions.
- 6.File a report at reportfraud.ftc.gov and with your state Attorney General.
- 7.File a local police report — creates a legal record for insurance and tax purposes.
- 8.Consider a credit freeze at all three bureaus if identity information was shared.
Note:No legitimate agency will ask you to pay a "recovery fee" to get your money back. That's a follow-up scam by different criminals who've bought lists of prior victims.
Where to Report This Scam
Primary reporting: reportfraud.ftc.gov and the dating platform
Also file with:
- • FTC Consumer Sentinel — reportfraud.ftc.gov (nationwide database)
- • Your state Attorney General — for local prosecution authority
- • FBI IC3 — ic3.gov if the scam originated online or overseas
Find your state's specific reporting resources on our state fraud pages.
Why This Scam Works
Scams exploit specific psychological pressure points. This one primarily uses:
- • Novelty: Newer tactics or AI-enabled techniques catch victims who haven't heard warnings yet. Report volume is trending up nationally.
- • Urgency and time pressure: Scammers demand fast decisions to prevent victims from calling family or thinking through inconsistencies.
- • Authority impersonation: Government agencies, banks, and health insurers carry inherent trust that scammers exploit.
- • Isolation: Instructions to "not tell anyone" keep victims from seeking help until it's too late.
- • Emotional hijacking: Fear (arrest, penalty, illness), hope (winnings, love), or guilt (helping family) short-circuit critical thinking.
Awareness is the strongest defense. Once you recognize the pattern, the same tactics feel much less convincing.
Common Questions — Romance Scam
Can I get my money back?
Depends on how you paid. Credit card charges can be disputed for up to 60 days. Bank transfers can occasionally be reversed within 24-48 hours. Wire transfers and gift cards are usually gone within hours. Cryptocurrency is essentially unrecoverable. Report fast — the first 24 hours matter most.
Will police actually investigate?
Most individual scam losses are too small for police investigation. Reporting still matters: aggregated reports let FTC and state AGs identify large criminal networks. Larger losses (over $10k) and scams involving named suspects are more likely to see actual investigation.
Am I likely to be targeted again?
Yes. Scammers sell "responsive" victim lists to other scammers. Expect follow-up contacts for months — often for supposed "refund services" or "help recovering your funds" that are just more scams. Freeze credit, change phone numbers if needed, and be extra skeptical of all unsolicited outreach going forward.
Should I feel embarrassed?
No. Modern scams are engineered by professionals who study behavioral psychology. Educated, experienced people fall victim regularly — it's not a sign of poor judgment. Talking about it openly is what protects future victims.
Are older adults specifically targeted?
Yes. FTC data shows adults 60+ report higher median individual losses than younger adults, even though they report fewer incidents overall. Scammers target seniors because they're more likely to have savings and less likely to be tech-savvy about verification.
Related Scams to Watch For
These scams share similar tactics or target similar victims: